One mocha please

Well, I went there for a reason

I knew you were there because I need someone to talk to. 

I was heartbroken and was in a terrible mood. 

I knew you were there because it was Tuesday. 

You work on Tuesday night shift as the last time I went it was Tuesday night. 

I was not being myself when I went to there that day. 

That day was someday different for me. 

And you reminded me I sat there for 3 hours which I don't even remember. So 

I thought you were another cliche guys

 offering drinks to other girls like you find interested and you do all these moves.

 Because the next Tuesday when I passed by 

and wanted to say hi to you. 

You were serving customers.

 Seeing you smiling and the look on your eyes looking at them

is the same way you looked at me. 

So, I thought, yeah he treats every customers like that. 

I am thinking too much. 

I am no way special or you would remember me. 

So I took the other road opposite

 so you would not notice me or

 I wouldn't just bump into you and don't know what to say. 

I just recall that every guys are just the same, 

approaching girls and trying out their games with them and playing with their emotions.

 Well, I am just sick of it and don't want myself to get hurt again. 

So, I just pass by the place you work and never want to make any mistakes again 

or overloading myself with hallucinations that would happen to me. 

Yeah, and I pass by every week and saw you but to think nothing is going to happen and everything will be back into places. 

Everyone is going to live our own peaceful busy life. 

. . 

I never had the time to continue to read my book.

 Even I have, it didn't seem right to read my book in any spot.

 I find time to go back there but I was afraid that it would be somehow awkward or 

it doesn't feel the same special place anymore. 

I don't want to lose that vibe reading in that space. 

I told myself to give myself time. 

. . 

So why I went back there.

 I went back for a reason. 

I knew you were there. 

I wanted a break from the mess

 and the first thing I thought was to blog. 

I want to get out of from the house to blog, to calm myself down. 

I knew I would do stupid stuff and cannot control myself if I don't go out from this space. 

I knew you were there. Because it was Tuesday. 

I knew you were there, so I take my guts to go there, 

and did not have any expectations you would remember me. 

. . 

Honestly I don't remember what you would looked like. 

But when I reach there, 

and it recalled to me that I don't remember you looking like this. 

haha. 

I mean looking so charming but way heck,

 I just got myself into conscious and reminded myself, 

I just want to blog. I want to have my own space. 

I want to be alone. 

That's why I sat alone in the corner. I don't want anyone to find me or see me here.

 Because of the wind from the door behind, I was freezing and had no choice just to move in front.

While I was going to blog, I know I am going to break down in tears 

and you would think that I am a weirdo, and to think of that,

 it wasn't a good idea to come here to blog. 

But I packed up myself, reminded myself, 

there's no turning back to that sorrow place

 and it was too far to go to Starbucks or anywhere I could think of. 

So I packed up my mood and started blogging. 

And you came over and offered me my coffee.

 Honestly I was not being myself that night.

 I was gloomy and depress. I wanted to be alone. 

But you came to talk to me. 

I forgot how you started the topic.

 I was trying to be normal as possible

 and hoping you wouldn't see my red nose or tears in my eyes. 

I was faking my smile to look like I am okay.

 Well, I hoped I impressed you with my acting of being nothing is wrong with me. 

I didn't want to over exaggerate that 

I was sad and blogging about how I was going to do stupid things again. 

. . 

So you were talking to me and I was trying to adjust my mood back. 

And I recalled back you were just another guy who would approach any girl you find interested in 

and unfilling boxes like you always do to talk to any people. 

Or you were just doing your job and I was thinking too much again. 

But the more I know you, I find myself became calm 

and realised you were not like other guys.

 You were knowing what you were doing and you were taking control of everything you were doing. 

I felt embarrassed whether I was interrupting you working. 

But you insisted that was okay to have a chat. 

Well, since you insisted. I stayed for awhile. 

It was unusual for me to stay in one place to talk to someone when they're working. 

But I don't want to go back. You were a nice person after all.

 If you were to read this. I am so sorry that I judged you this quick.

 But you were a nice, mature, gentleman and plus points that you look charming, 

which I did say a few times you had that Zac Efron posture. 

I bet you thought I was a weird and scary girl reading the thriller book I told you about hey? 

But I have my story behind that, that's another blog to write. 

. . 

You were doing your stuff and we were chatting. 

Blasting the you so called metal pop music 

which I told you I wouldn't remember the artist's name from your phone 

makes me think of, you have a dark crazy side in your not so Maroon 5 enthusiast 

yet you sang along to Payphone.

You are a judicious person,

 instead of throwing away the sandwiches, you offered me one. 

To let you know, 

I named you Mr Brownie as you treated me Brownie the first time. 

But now, carrot cake and sandwiches? 

I'll stick to brownie just because it was first impression. 

haha.

 I guess you would bring your younger sister to anywhere she wants to go

 or what she wants to do because you talk about her.

 I guess, back in your home, 

you would bring your poodle and a husky, whom you love, 

to jog at the park or buy them food and toys they love 

and they would crawl over you and sleep on your lap.

You believed in fate,

 everything happens for a reason.

 You believed that working there and staying the night shift

 was the fate of meeting someone unexpected.

Sounds like you were happy to meet me 

but I wasn't sure I was thinking too much again 

or it was too good to be true that i was thinking the same thing too. 

You maybe blasting music in the kitchen

 while you're waiting the chicken to be cooked well 

or when you're cycling around singing along to the song

 and waiting for the time to pass, when can the night end for you. 

 Could imagine your room and house would be really clean and tidy 

because you told me you are extremely clean 

which fairly let me think that you have OCD, 

but nah, you are not that extreme to that point 

because you left some small chunks on the plate 

where people who have this disorder would just freakout, 

but you didn't. 

I guess you have been thru a lot in your life, 

working so hard having 2 jobs 

and even hurt yourself. 

Well you care about the bigger things than the smaller ones, 

you are optimistic,

 expecting that your hand will be alright that would not have any risk in the future.

. .

 You were doing your job and I was seeing you working.

 You were so focused in your job and I thought 

it wasn't a right time for me to know more about you.

 I was planning to leave when you were baking

 but you were responding to me and smiling to me that it was okay I can stay for awhile.

 I guess you were too focus on your job 

and thought that I was a nobody following you around the shop while you work.

 I stayed because 

I never felt so nice talking to someone 

and you were alright with it.

 I enjoyed chatting with you and seeing you work 

just because I want to open my own restaurant one day,

 working in a restaurant, it doesn't bore me. 

And looking at someone charming working 

it's not a bad thing and well of course

 it's a wonderful thing. 

. . 

So it was almost 3am, 

I felt tired and telling myself I need to leave before you think 

I am some crazy weirdo girl who wants to stay until the morning as much as I can do so,

 but chill, I don't want, I need to sleep.

 haha.

 I know how you feel working overnight shift, 

feeling your liver is going to crack and

you just cannot wait for the time to pass 

to fall into your comfy bed. 

Just like my mom, 

I companied her when she's working while I do my own stuff 

and gave her support and massage her stiff stressful back when she was working overnight. 

It breaks my heart to see her working that hard. 

I miss her. 

. . 

I gave you my number. 

Never expect that you would call me or contact me in future

 and gave you a handshake nice meeting you 

and remembered your captivating smile as I leave. 

It was nice talking to you that night and my mood was back on track. 

My emotions dragged me to the tip point but

 spending that 7 hours in that warm shop feels like a good unwind for me. 

Thank you, I really need that, 

to distract myself from the world for awhile. 

If you are reading this blog,

 it was nice meeting you.

 I hope that I didn't freak you out with my weirdness. 

See you around sometime :)