Finals week......
Normally I'm a person who does not easily get bored,
meaning that, when I say I am bored, meaning,
I am EXTREMELY aka F**king bored.
Bored in a way that I did not step out from my apartment for a week already and
I miss my previous university campus where I can talk to my friends especially
when I'm single now, life is just desperately lonely,
BUT doesn't mean I am not happy.
I am happy, but
it is just lack of some excitement and limited socialising space here
because it's finals weeekkk
Honestly, I am quite excited to go back to my hometown,
give myself a drama break from living with my ex,
gain experience from my new job and allow me to meet someone new and fun.
Freaking give me a life and a break!
*ok, chill* I told myself before, spread positivity around*
Okay, so, you're not fooled by my topic though,
I just made an intro to bring in my topic. *evil laugh*
Well, when I was bored and keep talking in my brain to keep myself motivated to
be strong and positive,
I passed by YouTube, where the social media I frequently hang,
I instantly searched for this female YouTuber I got inspired from
- Anna Akana.
I was so inspired when one of her videos when viral titled
"This girl's make up skills definitely is different from others, girls must see!"
so I just clicked in like ''oh, what make up strategy I can learn from her,''
After watching,
I was motivated by her 100% guarantee!
She is one absolute inspiring YouTuber.
She is confident, beautiful, sexy, and a really great personality.
She would really be an influential mentor for any girls out there, including me.
I am going on a hard time now,
which is living with my ex who has already moved on with a girl he indirectly lied to me before which I cannot accept the reality.
What's worst is, he treated me like his best bestiest friend and like nothing fcking happened.
So, I am really working on it to clear my mind and
finding motivations to keep me positive and
discover myself again.
In my conscious, I am very grateful that we ended,
which enables me to find another greater guy, than him.
I also thought that it was both our problems that did not work out the relationship,
partially it was me who was not mature enough,
I was 18 and mentally damage while I was his first lover, see the problem here?
We were never meant to be together anyways.
Moving on, to keep myself motivated,
her videos are like just there for me *grateful*
Single, not ready to mingle.
Put a ring on myself,
not committed to anyone else but myself.
Finding myself to be a better person.
Give myself a vow that I am not going to be in a relationship
until I am out there earning my own money
and meet a mature, stable man.
Better be single rather be with the wrong one.
I can be happy in a relationship, but
I don't need a relationship to be happy.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean you'll be always happy,
and being single doesn't mean that you're lonely,
because I can choose what I want to be,
and I choose to be happy and optimistic.
If being single isn't happy,
then it will not be happy if you're in a relationship,
so, achieving your own life first then share with someone who deserve you.
You know, life is simply amazing when you're laughing.
So, keep laughing and enjoy the moment.
Think positive and be optimistic.
Be strong and focus on achieving targeted goals.
It's not easy,
but it's going to be worth it as the great things take time and patience.
Fighting !!
Nightowl, 2am.
