Motivation Strikes: Be the Best version of me

I want to help the community. 

Doing some movements or something that will contribute and help someone those who needs or move people's heart to make a drive to help others.

I want to grab the whole of everything.

 Not only generally in marketing and advertising, more in depth like graphic design, I can make my own design and hold on something I want rather than depending on others who I won't feel satisfied in my guts. I can be dependent and doing it myself and meets other people's expectations. Employer depend on me, employers need me, their profit and reputation is depending on me, rather than me doing all those business calculative decisions. 

I want to do influence people at my work.  People take their moves after looking at my poster or advertisement or end design. I want to do something that move's people's heart, they will feel touched and do something after looking at it.

Because I was influenced by people and things and advertisements. 

I think making people to make a move or change a perspective is so powerful and controlling. People get to listen to you and depend on you is an intangibly powerful way. 

I know what I want, but does time and money allow me to?

I have the potential, I have talent, I love it when I am doing it, with hard work, dedication and  ability, nothing can stop me in what I want to do. Unless it's myself whether that I am stronger than my excuses. 

I am not sure what I am doing now will bring my way.

I am unclear whether what I am doing now in marketing works for me. I know it works for me, I can earn a living, but in the business wise, I am weak in business thinking. I can't be harsh or driven like my friends. I see them, they are really driven business minded people. I can be influential, but I can't be as convincing as them. Even when I am communicating, I admit I am bad at communicating. However, I would want to express it through my work. I admit I am bad at my work and creativity too, which is why I am striving for it and searching for it. Finding what that belongs to me. But with the business wise environment, does it allow me myself to convince I am good enough to break through these limitations?

I want to influence people, I want to convince people. I see artworks, advertisements, poster, billboard displays, events, they made a movement, people see and make that movement. I want to be the movement, I see business people convincing potential partners, I don't know how do they do it and I am somehow not interested how did you do that.

It's not the environment that had me today thinking wildly and madly like this, or probably. 

 I know I was born like this and meant to be doing this. It's good to have the environment finding what I eagerly want. I want to be beyond control, yet able to control people and they will follow unconsciously. I know I want to have the power and I have the ability to do so. To let people have  "oh wow" "hmm yes" "oh great one" "I need to have that" "I will do that".

Imagining my future with my current, I don't belong there. 

I imagine myself, with people in suits in the meeting room discussing the inflation and deflation of the economy affecting their business deciding what shares lose or put. I am not in that space, I would get lost.  I am imagining myself sitting in, the board room discussing ideas with my team helping the community into the next big project to the world or the country. As long as it's big and successful and positive influence, I can imagine it I am in. I want to create and design to help people. I can imagine, after the meeting or work, I attend high end fund raiser party, talking with big people that influence the world to what they are doing. With red classy gown holding a glass of champagne discussing with big names in the room, making potential partnerships and relationships with my organization. Not only business people will be here, I can also influence people with my works. 

Am I thinking too much, no,

 Because I believe there are people out there who lives like this. Rarely, but yes. The pathway to success is not difficult to get, because people who are consistent are rare. I don't need no Gucci or Prada, I want to satisfy my needs and able to earn a living for myself without troubles whilst enjoying what I do, enjoy my job. With those sleepless working nights or cups of coffee that would make me sick, yet I am still satisfied with my job and people pay for what I enjoy doing. This is the most powerful and satisfying thing in the world. 

Currently I feel weak.

 Classmates in my class who has already the ability and talent to do so makes me so envious to be like them. I have high demands for myself. Seeing them, I feel weak, I am no much closer to them. I feel so shallow and weak, yet I demand so much for myself to be them or better than them, be one of them. 

I want to do it and I have to do it. 

I have no time or no energy to wish something that I can make it come true. I want to be a wholesome of all everything I am capable of. Or else, I can't sleep or I can't live my life like that, I will feel sorry for myself and therefore I will not. I am still searching for it and still exploring for what I am. They say, make goals everyday that meets your end goal. Well, I know what is my goal is, time to move my ass to contribute hard work and consistency and determination on my movements. It's not how much you dream of, is how much you have started.

Results, Movements, Improvements. That is what I strive for. Tick of every day goal on my list, to reach out for my goal.